Kill them with kindness

by Alessia von Rohr August 31, 2023

Kill them with kindness

For us, humility and respect are two fundamental cornerstones for dealing with each other. Yes, because it has certainly happened to everyone to have to deal with people who, while these two concepts were being distributed, had gone to the bathroom.

For example, if a co-worker sends us an e-mail in an aggressive tone, the cashier at the supermarket throws change at us in a provocative manner, a driver doesn't stop when we are approaching the pedestrian crosswalk and almost pulls us over by shouting an insult or on the train on the way to work someone elbows us without apologising, we feel like telling them all to fuck off. You‘ll surely can relate to these everyday situations.

Responding in tone or insulting the respective person only escalates the situation, which certainly does not help anyone, affecting our physical and mental health. Even if we may be right at our workplace, it could result in a dismissal.

So the question arises: What is the best way to respond to a disrespectful, supercilious and simply asshole-like attitude?

Patience. Kindness. Goodness.
No, there is no need to wrinkle one's nose, although it is one of the most spontaneous reactions one can have, imagining a scene from the past and trying to resolve the situation with kindness. But believe us, it becomes a habit after trying and trying again and practising it more often. And it's good for you!

The first thing to do in those moments is to breathe. Breathe and wait a few seconds before reacting. Also, in these situations, one tends to react immediately, on the spur of the moment, without thinking, and then one regrets it. So breathe, wait, and use these seconds to think of a gentle way to respond to a given provocation.

First of all, responding with kindness helps to de-escalate the situation, deflating it. Secondly, it displaces our interlocutor and allows him to calm down. And who knows, maybe make him see that humanity and the world do not suck so much.

We know we don't know.
First, we should understand why people misbehave towards us - but certainly not only towards us! The cashier at the cinema entrance probably mistreats everyone - we are not unique! Often, these people have their own problems, may be frustrated, or have themselves almost been run over by a hit-and-run driver. We do not know and cannot know, so we must, from the outset, not judge those in front of us.

You decide!
Remember, you cannot control others, the way they interact, think, or live. But you can control how you choose to assimilate information and how to react to it. No one can hurt you without your consent; you will be hurt when you allow someone to hurt you.

And finally, to quote Selena Gomez: Kill Em With Kindness!

 



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